Superb Saturday

In the morning I sent several messages to you but no reply and then evening around 4.00 pm I saw that lijy is online and I make her to wait and then called you to come to internet then you told you will be there in 4.30 pm I convey that to lijy .

Then around 4.30pm you came I didn’t issue the system in time slip to you then lijy also came online conversation is going on around 5.15 sir came sir came then only I issued the slip then you chat with her up to 6.00 lijy said thanks to me but you didn’t said anything then you getting down the step I too came with you up to the office end and I asked you to come to my church tomorrow you said I have to think and then you went to hostel I feel so happy to that I make you to talk with her and your long time thinking is full filed.

Then evening around evening around 7.30 you said don’t call me today I have lot of work nu but I requested to you for 5 min then you accept the I made call to you I spoke with you 4.1 min then I went to home I feel so happy that you said In phone that you will come on chetpet church with me tomorrow I am in the dream up to 1.pm I didn’t slept..
Because we both are going together to church the golden days are going to come back to my life…
Thanks JIL

The Big Small Day

The day starts very nicely I sent messages no reply I feel some what sad then after noon around 1.20pm I got message that you want to recharge your phone for 10 rupees but I recharged your phone with 20 rupees you asked me why you done like that nu?

I didn’t recharge for ten rupees in my life they may look badly so that I recharge your phone for 20.

Then evening around 5.12 pm you sent message that power is there? Nu then I thought you are going to come to our net café then waited for you came around 5.30 I feel so happy to see you because you came with smiley face and you speak to me nicely that day lijy is on online you waited for talk to with for long time but the sad thing is she is in campus so she told you to come after 1hr then you went then you cam again at 6.15 pm then you waited for long time but she didn’t came I feel so sad that you couldn’t talk to her

Then you went to hostel around 8.05 pm I called you and you picked we spoke very little time in between your mom called so the conversation end with very little time.

Then I went to home and you sent message to me that you mom scold you to whom you speaking with all the time when I called you. It was an sad news I know the mistake is my side then I sent several messages and I got reply also then I slept ……….

Thurs Day

Hi DA!

This day some what good, Morning i sent some messages to you as usual no reply from you. The evening around 6.55pm I called you no response, then night around 8.10pm no response after several try you received my call then only i realized that you are coming on the from your hospital then i told OK you go to hostel then i will call you, you said OK thanks and then you cut the call.
I felt you angry one me......... then i took decision i should not make you angry again. then around 9.15pm i called you then tried several times finally got connected at 9.43 pm then i started talking to you but i feel that you still angry on me. then after some time you will became cool we spoke around 50min it was an happy conversation, hope this will continues..............
Thanks JIL>>>>>>

Love turns Friendship.....

I don't have any options for me you don't like to give such thing to me so I finally decided I should not cry like this and i should come out of this sorrow full life so I decided today onward no more love between us. I don't know how you are going to take this but this one absolutely I am taking this Decision for our sake. Because my behaving you are getting hurt and your behaving I am getting hurting. So we should stop this love game Liju.

Here after I will be a good friend to you and I will make you always happy I will became a trust worthy to you and make your life color full. TRUST ME.....

Because you telling me lot of times don't love me too much it will hurt you nu... but I am not listen to you now I got the hurt and try to change my self........

It not that means I will not obey for, your always my good friend what ever you asked me I will surely do for you. With my full satisfaction I am doing all those things for you and you only.

In the first time when we spoke in phone i told you that I am so talkative, but you are not believe me but u know that how talkative I am.

What to say more then this liju I am so mad about peoples who cares me lot ......
nowadays slowly that caring on me getting reduced i feel that.....
But I know it's because of me I dig my cave in my own hands.

Will the happiest life when we together will come again?
If its come back I am So thankful to you
At least one time if possible...........

SORRY MY DEAR

OH! My god for this I asked you that I should see my sweetheart once……. She is not even seen my face I getting cry my jesus. I hurt her that much oh my jesus . My dear jil please forgive me da I am really sorry about what ever wrong I done it won’t happen again I promise you da …….

I never saw your face like this sorrowful face I seen always one sweet smile in your face that only attract me always but this time your sorrow is make me cry my dear.

I cried like anything I am so sorry my sweet. Forgive me da it wont happen again here after I wont disturb you da trust me.

Every thing happened because of me I put my life in sorrow in my own mouth sorry for that now almost my faith is gone the happiest day we spent together it will come again? Its an big question mark right?

I hope I will get the entire thing what ever I loosed…………

I will be quite until I get my smile

Miss you badly

Sorry sweet forgive me…

In the sad situation also some good thinks happened she sent several messages to me .......

thanks jil

First Working Day of the Week

I am so confused and don’t know that what is going to happen next. I prayed to the god this day should not start bad please god help me.
I tried several time to call you but no response, I felt you so angry on me, my mind is totally disturbed and the funny thing is today I have a interview in this bad mod how I am going to attend this? Oh my god bless me.
After noon around 2 Pm I went to that place the people are interviewing me they are so kind and good,
Finally I got selected.

In that happiest moment I sent messages to you but no response from you feel so sad about it. Then time runs fast its 8 Pm thank god, I called you 2 times no response I hold my nerves and called you 3rd time thank god you picked this time the conversation is so god it went around 20 min or so then you friends are calling you then you said I have to go I have to talk to them I will sent messages to you.
Then I went to home and sent several messages but no response from your side I am so sad and slept with sorrow.

Shit Sunday

Kaadhal endraal kavalaiya
kannil neerin thivalaiya
noyannen uyirum neeyanae
iravil kaayum muzhu nila
enakku mattum sudum nila
vaaraiyo enai nee seraiyo
thoonga vaikkum nilavae
thookamindri neeaen vaadinaiyo

The love = Sorrow

I know that I am doing wrong, I am irritating, disturbing, giving tension to you, I these things I know I am absolutely doing wrong. But something is driving me to do this nonsense means I got mad isn’t?

I am really scare about it liju I think I got mad I cant keep quite I got irritate with all those people with me. Liju help me in this worst time. Be with me for my sake for some time.

Naan yeanalam panna koodadhu nu ninaikireno adhelam manasula vandu panna thoonduda iyyo rumba kastama iruku da jil

slowly i lose hope in god if really god is there why this sorrows? pain? yesappa.............

I never have been like this yeanala yeduvume seya mudiyala. 2 day ayiduchi sapitu.

I am scare about me liju please save my life

I love you soo much sweety……………………

I can’t live without you I swear

Worst Day

The day started well, but end’s with full of sorrow…. Morning I sent several messages to you. And you send replies to that, then you went 2nd shift then I waited for 8 o clock finally I called you at 8.29 here is started my bad time the talk went good only but suddenly its ruined my life.
Yes around 9 o clock while talking suddenly you told “ you are always saying all those things and cheating me” this word is really hurt me lot but you didn’t realize and went on scolding me I don’t what I should do on that situation you.
Liju I am really saying this to you, you are so precious I love to be with you always. I love you so much dear, but you don’t care anything and keep on hurting me. Now how is my situation is I jumped in to the sea without knowing swimming. I can’t come to the land and I can stay in the sea. My dear you are everything to me da in this short period you made me mad about you like anything. You changed my entire life, and life style. I love to do that what ever you say but if you say leave me how can I do that da my dear.
Hey I can’t live without you da please understand I want to see u da ……………

Fry Day? No its an JIL Day!

Yes its an jil day I sent message to you in the morning and you to sent reply messages to me. Today I thought I should not call in the morning because you don’t have work today you are on weekly off. So that I decided to call you in the evening, for that I keep quiet but see the surprise you made call around 9.05 I got surprised and I made a call it was an pleasant talk and that I told today my quota of talking with you not is over I will call you in the evening you said no and then finally I got permission from you. And I told you that I will got to trade fare nandambakkam you told me don’t go because I am going to come to your office but I am helpless my dear I have to go………

Then after noon I went to trade far from there I sent several message you too replied for me I am so happy then I saw on seller is doing free ear piercing in the exhibition I like to put pierce in my ear before I do I asked your permission you said no for that any way you said before I put and u replied if you put it already I wont speak to you I got shocked thank god u saved me.

Then I came back form exhibition around 7.45pm I sent several message between this time but no reply I thought you busy, then around 20.16 I called you but your line is busy then I waiting around 20 min or so then I make call you again around 20.40 no reply then again at 20.49 this time you received the call it was an good conversation and you told about that you got some one offers to act in movie but I feel that you should not go to that field, its my request..

Then the conversation has went miss direction I asked you to trust on me and give a chance for me as usual you denied but I like you so much jillu you have to trust me and love to be with you in my life time but suddenly your mood has changed and you told me to go home and I will talk to you later nu……

Then I went to home and but I am not comfortable I am thinking about you even in the home why you suddenly your talk became sad I don’t know dear I will do anything for you da but before that you have to ask me what you want

I will do you anything for you my sweet heart………………….

Thrashing Thursday

Call has not came from her on yesterday. Big frustration getting mad here what to do don’t know… Finally @ 8.58am I made a call to you but u did’t picked the call frustration built up double don’t know what to do again I tried 9.02 one call again 9.04 one call no response Jesus what to do? My hopes are getting down, but god is always great, finally at 9.07 I got your call thank god I speak very calm because I don’t want to fight with you jil. You asked me y you got so tensed yesterday, I replied you should not said that to me I am doing overnu because you have to understand my feelings and then I told here after I will call you one time In a day and that too only 10 min. you are very happy about It and said thanks I replied its not for you it for me …………

Then I told you I am going to office I you cut the call nu you told me you cut the call then finally I cut the call and went to office. Here Is the surprise again lot of messages SMS today bit happy and bit sad too I sent several messages to you, and night around 22.51 I got message from you I am soo happy to see that messages. Its not a Thursday Thrashing day.

அன்பு

தேடித் தேடிக் களைத்து எங்கோ மூலைத் தெருவொன்றில்ஊத்தை உடுப்போடுபாறையொன்றில் பசிக்களையோடுநிறையாத மனதோடு உட்கார்ந்திருப்பதாய் உணர்கிறேன்.
எல்லாம் நிறைந்திருந்தும் எதுவுமே இல்லாமல்அன்பின் வேஷங்கள் முன்னால்பசப்பாய் நடிக்கும் சாகச மனிதர்களுக்கு முன்னால்நானும்......என் நானும்.
அன்பு....அன்பின் தாக்கம் அறியவில்லை ஆரம்பத்தில்வயதின் வரம்பு கடக்கஅ...ன்பே ஏக்கமாகிவாழ்வு விழுந்து படுத்தபின்பும்அன்பின் துளிச் சிதறலுக்காய் ஏங்கும் ஒரு ஜீவனாய் நான்.காலவெளியில் கதறியழும்அன்புப் பசியால் தினம் வாடும் சின்னக்குழந்தையாய்துன்பப்புண் என் மனதில்.
தாயின் மடி தவழ்ந்து தந்தை தோள் கிடந்து ....அதன் பின் அன்பின் அருகாமைஇன்னும் கிடைக்காத பாவியாய்.
சுதந்திரமற்று வறண்ட தேசத்திலும்சீக்குப் பிடித்த மனித மனங்களிலும்அன்பின் ஒளி எங்கும் காணேன்.அன்பு வற்றி மானுடம் குன்றிக் கிடக்கிறது.
அன்பு கண்டேன்நிறைவாய் அன்பின் சாயல் கண்டேன்.சின்னக் குழந்தைகள் சொன்ன மொழிகளில்அன்பு வழியக் கண்டேன்.சிறகடிக்கும் பறவைகள் நிழல்தரும் மரங்கள்ஏன்..ஐந்தறிவு மிருகங்களில்கூட மிகுந்திருக்கும் அன்புமானிடம் மட்டும் மறந்ததேனோ !
சிலசமயங்களில் அன்பு என் பலவீனம் கண்டுபக்கம் வரும் பாசாங்கு காட்டும்மாய அன்பில் கட்டுப்பட்டுகாயப்பட்ட கதைகள் கனக்கவே உண்டு.
எங்கும் கதவடைப்பு தட்டுப்பாடு கிடைப்பது அரிது.கிடைக்கவே கிடைக்காது.ஒரு துளி அன்பிற்காய் ஓடிக் களைக்கிறேன்.அதுவும் உண்மை அன்பிற்காய் மட்டுமே.
நினைத்திராத நிமிடத்துளிக்குள் நான் இறந்துவிடுவேன்.என் சுவாசத்தின் இறுதி இழைத்துளியில் ஊசலாடிக்களைத்து இளைக்கிறேன்.என் உயிர் பிரிவதைக்கூட உணர்கிறேன்.சுவாசம் கொஞ்சம் வேகமானாலோஇரக்கத்தை விட்டுவிட்டாலோ என் உயிர் பறந்துவிடும்.
வாழ்வின் வரவுகளோடு என் வெகுமானங்களையும்விட்டுப் போகும் நேரத்திலும்ஒரு துளி உண்மை அன்பைஅன்பின் தீண்டலைத் தேடுகிறேன்.கிடைக்குமா ?!!!

There is a Limit...........

There is a limit for everything jil. This day is started well but end’s with sorrow, I don’t think so this time you will come to my life again………….. I think almost everything is gone and I lost my hope. But I am here to say something to u my dear jil, you know what I am daily praying with god?” Please my dear god give me liju to my life partner I will be soo happy if I get her in life, if not I don’t want to get marry anyone” this is my prayer I will sure I will make this happen I have to marry you or I will became life long batchler that is my wish.

You are always telling me about that you are scare about me...........

You are scaring about me is absolutely right I am very sensitive, emotional person i will get hurt easily but I tried my level best to I wont get hurt form you but its everyday is getting high not reducing.

Here I am fighting for my life in this I won't allow any third person but today someone is comment on me that hurts me lot she told "romba overa aayiduchila" and you also replied to her yes"romba over aayiduchi" thanks for everything....................

This is the gift you gave me for Loving you sooo nice of it.........

everyday i thought you will understand my feelings one day..........

But i don't know when it will happen..................

Gradually now days the you are hurting me lot. I don’t know what to do that’s why I came in to this situation . I am writing this in big frustration finally I requested you to call me tonight……

I hope you will call me

Waiting for your call

With tears

Mad Raj

Brighter Tuesday

Morning around 5.20 i sent message to you....... around 8.08 am you send reply then i made call to her because of my aircel sms package is got exhausted that is just reason but I am eagerly waiting to talk to you da. Then u received the call it was an good conversation with little bit of hurts.
You told that you are in hospital i am moving to hostel so call me little later then i called you little later you received my call i spoke to you around 50 min then i went to office. Thanks for the time da.
Then Evening around 4.40pm i made call to you again this time some aggressive talk from you, as usual i keep quiet. we spoke around 40min the i told you to cut the call because i like to cut the call in happy note not in sad note then you cut the call some what i feel happy today.

@ the evening i am waiting for you messages but nothing is reaching me still waiting for that hope it will reach me but now is time 12.00 Am still its not reaching i lost my hope anyway thanks for make me somewhat happy dear
Yours
Loose Raj

Cool Day(JIL DAY)

It was a Great Day in my life, 3 Surprises in this day……………..
First she sent message @ When she reach hospital as per my request, then I reach my home around 10.15pm and then second surprise got call from her its was an nice conversation end’s with 19min, then I went to bed and get sleep here the 3rd surprise that she gave a call again oh my god what a surprise in my life, this time I spoke with here around 30min I came back to bed around 11.30 pm and then sent some messages to her she told “Don’t sleep I am in night duty I am not sleeping here then why you are sleeping” I obey here request and I am not sleeping. The funniest thing is she told don’t sleep but she slept then after 30 min or so she sent message to me I am getting sleep, u to sleep raj then I went to bed totally it was an awesome day……….
Thank God for giving such happiest day in my life
And thank you JIL
Your's
Raj Loose

Do u think? Will I leave you if you hurt like this?

Dear Jilu what you are thinking is so childish dear.................. How I will hate you? If you kick me also I will return to you only da. I wont leave you in any situation. Why you are testing me like this instead of testing just kill me sweety. Instead dieing daily it will clear in one shoot. I don't want to fight with you jilu, but you are not listening my words and fighting with me all the times its hurts me lot. You think I will get angry if you do like this but I won’t angry I will get hurt only because of your activities. I like you so much my dear understand my feeling,s please........

I am begging you my dear……….

Don't Fight With Me Ever.... PLEASE

Yours

Loose Raj

Somewhat Better Sunday!

Morning i went to Church in Chetpet. From there I sent messages to you about the Sunday prayer message. After finishing the service I came out from there you sent message to me..... Its made me happy, Then i came to office directly, as of afternoon I am OK, but suddenly i felt i like to talk to you but yesterday i told that to you I wont call you without your missed call so i kept quiet and waiting for your call.............. But no calls, then i decided I have to call you then i called you @ 3.15pm but u didn't receive my call then i went to office, but i cant keep quite i have felt so sad i desperately need to talk to you but i don't know u will get angry or not because u have to sleep (you have night shift yesterday) I waited Then i called you around 4.16 pm this time you received my call thank god i talked to you up to 16 min i felt very happy no fights today till now very happy ..............

I love to be smile always and u too Keep smile my dear... Don't make me cry
what will happen next? Who Knows
Love you dear
yours
Lose Raj

Bad things continues

continues ....................

Again Worst arguments, Fights every day she is makes me cry now days, In the day I am only happy in few hours most of the hours i am crying.
When it will change and my life will be normal god ?
Actually I don't want to fight with you sweet heart but nowadays you are always fighting with me,
I love to be you have to reduce it. other wise it will make big gap between us jillu
Try to change your attitude i know u like me lot but i don't know why you hide your feelings.........
Here after i wont fight with you dear hope you also .............
and i promise you this kind of arguments will not take place again and today i decided that here after i wont call you without your permission if you give missed call then only i will call you dear
I need you in my hole life ..............
Till my last breath
Love you jillu
yours
Raj lose

What a sad day!

Oh my god! Why my tongue is not keep silent?
i had a very big argument with you sweetheart i think i hurt u, and i too got hurt. But i said my feeling only. How can I hide my feeling and keep smile with you? I am really scare to talk with you dear now days. I really love you so much i don't know how to express to you. After long time i had cry because of your talk. I am telling you here my sweetheart without you i cant think about to live in this world i mean it. But i am really scare about what is going to happen.
I can't live without you jill..........
I didn't had my dinner this night i cant even think about it i am hungry first i am feel like this. Your words are so hurting, and pinching my heart dear.
I will do anything for you dear, but don't ask me to forgot u ..... I am so sorry i can't
Miss you so much
Love you so much honey
Yours
Raj Lose

I am gonna miss you?

This is my first posting in this blog jilu. Why i am plan to blog here na, mostly i will write my feelings in diary only but yesterday you told me shocking news. Yea its really shocking news for me jillu.,

That you are going to Mauritius. I got tears when u said that to me i am not mean that i don't want you to go to abroad. You told me that "I will go Mauritius with in one week and its an 3 months contract within 1week I go there and i will forgot u with in this period" it's really hurts me lot my dear. Here after i am going to blog here about my love life ...... Because you are not going to see my dairy cos you are going far away from me
one day u see this

I will make you to see this.........
I am gonna Miss you badly..........
Miss you dear
hope u will understand me one day .................
Your's
Loose